Ravings of a Madman

Privacy

Sat, 30 May 2009 18:21:57 GMT

Apparently the new wave of web 2.0 social networking has caused people to act like complete douche bags, and forget a sane separation of work and personal life.

It seems certain people can't butt out of my personal life, and don't have the slightest fucking clue when comments are just off-handed frustrated remarks not directed at anyone in particular.

As such, future entries in this journal (if I ever get around to any :P) will most likely be friends locked. If you think I should add you to my friends list, you should already know how to bug me about it.

In which I realize it's midnight and go to sleep

Mon, 18 May 2009 07:04:25 GMT

I hate times like this.

I'm so worn out, so tired, that I can barely do anything. But the instant I lay down I get restless.

I've been in a weird funk since acen. Spending as much time around a number of other people, and friends specifically, has somewhat accentuated my current feelings of loneliness and isolation. Certain.. events.. that have happened recently have not exactly helped that either.

Hung out with megalomanicamie & Todd this weekend, went to see Star Trek on Friday, then they had to house-sit for Todd's mom saturday and sunday, so I hung out with them. Had a good time, but I still just come back here to my empty apartment.

Speaking of Star Trek, it was surprisingly good. The cinematography was.. poor, though. Too much lens flare/reflection activity going on in the field of vision and too much wanna-be blaire witch project style camera movement made it very difficult to actually watch at times. And the extreme Star Trek nerd in my head has a lot of little consistency/continuity nits to pick. That's all pretty minor though, the plot didn't suck, the acting was good, and I enjoyed it.

Todd picked up Descent over the weekend, and we played a couple games of that. Fun game, definitely looking forward to playing it again. Although it seemed like there were a few oddities, which I'm thinking I'm too tired to think about right this moment..

Clusters

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 06:15:58 GMT

So, this last saturday was the first session of a new 4e campaign.

I started it a bit heavy handed, sorta pushing the characters into the first story bit. Mostly just to kick-start the group, and to try and dump one of the players (new to 4e) right into the action. I'm using one of the dungeons in Dungeon Delves to start off with, and probably work that into the Thunderspire Labyrinth module.

The party is a Half-Elf bard, a Half-Elf Paladin, an Elf Ranger (Archer), and a Dwarf Invoker. Half the time the party is making dwarf jokes. The combination is.. interesting. With three basically ranged characters, fights seem to be an exercise in either keeping the paladin between them and the enemy, or just keeping the enemy as far away as possible (the invoker doesn't do a half bad job of that, actually).

Which brings an odd problem. Movement through a dungeon generally consists of the following routine:
- Move as close as possible to the next area without alerting creatures inside.
- Figure out who/what is inside
- If hostile, burst into the room guns blazing
- Stay in the hall while blasting enemies from range.

So, the whole "sneak up and burst in" strategy isn't really a problem per se. Depending on the situation, it's either appropriate that the party gains surprise, or appropriate that the enemies know they're coming (battles in a nearby room tend to be fairly loud).

Where I'm kinda stumped is that last bit. The tactic is to stick in the hall/room before the encounter room, forcing the enemy to come to you. It allows defensive/melee types to stick in the front and take the brunt of damage, while the ranged sticks to the back, relatively safe. It also limits the number of enemies that can effectively engage the party simultaneously.

From my perspective, as a GM, this is frustrating. It really limits the tactical movement possibilities for both the players and the npcs. Battles slide much easier into "stand there and attack shit until everything is dead". I want the players to be a bit more engaged, to care more about their position, and to actively have to think about moving each round. Not "I'm standing behind the paladin, nothing can get to me, so I can stand here."

I don't want to just throw NPCs with ranged ability at the party to counter the damage bottleneck issue. Tactically, what they're doing is reasonably intelligent. I don't want to punish that by consistently throwing archers or spellcasters at them. Ideally, I want something that will make them WANT to enter the room to engage the enemy.

Right now, I only see one real possibility, and that's using the geometry of room layouts make the "kick the door open and stand in the hall" tactic not viable. Oddly shaped rooms, pillars, turns, etc to basically block line-of-sight from the door to most of the enemies.

I could really use some opinions/suggestions on this, though.

I'm pretty sure the last 2/3 of this post was pretty rambling. Oh well.

Sci-Fi musings

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:47:09 GMT

I really need to update more. I don't know why I haven't been.

I think the statute of limitations for BSG spoilers is long since gone by now, so I won't worry about that. In a way, the finale was kind of cheesy in a "well, that cleaned up rather nicely" kind of way. It's the kind of thing I'd almost expect from Star Trek. (And, in fact, ST:Voyager did go with "and they lived happily ever after.") BSG seemed a bit.. "grim and gritty", more like B5 than ST.

That said, I did like some of the vagaries and implications left behind as a lingering question. What, exactly, was Kara Thrace? And was she always that? Or did it really only occur after she "died" and went to earth? (Or went to earth and died?) What eventually happened to the centurions? What happened to Cavil's Cylons? The obvious implication is that the "earth" the humans settled on is actually "our" earth, but given that we've already seen two earths already, can we really say that for sure? The hint that this is a repeating cycle is basically forced upon us at the end (more on this shortly), so exactly how many earths down the line are WE? I like that it ended (more or less) where it did.

What I do NOT like, is the last minute or so of conversation between the two 'angels' in the flash-forward to the 'present'. This last segment alone came pretty close to completely ruining the entire series. BSG did pretty well at not being overly direct, not coming out and just announcing plot points to the world, but this bit did just that. They may as well have just broken the fourth wall and described the entire plot, in mind-bogglingly-obvious detail directly to the audience.

The only real saving grace of it is that the conversation doesn't come out and say "it does happen again" or "it doesn't", it just raises the question, makes some observations, and moves on. I just wish they could have gotten to that point without basically drawing a big diagram that says "HI AUDIENCE. WE FIGURE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF STUPID MOUTH BREATHERS, SO IN CASE YOU COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS, THIS ENTIRE SERIES HAS BEEN ABOUT YOU, K THX BAI!"

I finished watching Star Trek: Voyager a while back. At first, when I started watching it, I thought to myself "this series isn't -so- bad, it doesn't seem to deserve all the crap it got." But as I watched the series further on, that opinion changed. And now I've started watching ST:DS9, and it's completely changed.

Voyager actually started out not bad. It had a reasonably compelling hook, and some of the storylines in the first couple seasons weren't really bad. The problem comes when you realize the show's original premise is a recipe for disaster. The show basically has to feature the crew attempting to make it back home. If they backed away from that, you'd basically be asking "Okay, well so what, what's the point of this now?"

But, with a ship that's constantly on the move, you simply cannot have running story lines that involve things external to the ship. As eventually the ship just "moves past" that plot point. This, of course, was "solved" by the almost literally ever present Borg, and Seven of Nine. Except Seven was an 'internal' plot point most of the time, so she doesn't count.

This whole thing only gets worse as the show goes on and the crew makes larger "leaps" towards home. Even -with- the recurring Borg, it becomes increasingly "monster of the week that we'll never see again." And once they get in reasonably decent communication with Starfleet, it also becomes "Lets give jobs to the washed up TNG actors who have nothing better to do."

By the way, while TNG had it's share of "monster of the week", I really feel it achieved a decent balance between making you feel like the universe had plenty of new things to explore and experience, while also still maintaining a connection with known and familiar elements.

Voyagers main redeeming quality, really, was the strength of its cast. All in all, the characters weren't bad. Certainly better than TNG, aka "The Picard and Data Show" (because let's face it, those were the only two particularly interesting characters). I'm not really sure TNG could have pulled off some of the character development that Voyager had.

Finally, as I've started watching DS9, I begin to reaffirm my belief that DS9 really was the jewel of the ST franchise. It puts Voyager to shame on every level, and I'd say it's absolutely better than TNG. Of course, given that the show is basically just a rip off of B5, I can't say I'm surprised.

I've actually got a bit more to say about DS9, but as I've gone on long enough here, I'll save that for later.

This title should be cleverer.

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 06:07:04 GMT

Got my first paycheck from work last friday. That felt really good. Bought some Mocha Porter from Rogue Brewery to celebrate. Good stuff.

Saturday I went out looking to buy the PHB2. I started at Borders downtown. They.. didn't have it. They didn't actually have much of anything, it was rather pathetic. I tried Barnes and Nobles next, but no joy there. I figure they either sold out of their initial shipment (in which case they fail for not having enough) or they just didn't have them yet (in which case they fail for not having them ahead of time). So that kinda sucked. I consoled myself with a smoothie from Emerald City Smoothie and ordered it on Amazon, along with a DM Screen and Dungeon Delves.

Had an all-day meeting at work today, with all the developers and such. Granted, that was really only seven of us. Planned out the stuff that was currently on the plate, future projects, etc. So far I'm really enjoying the job, and like where it looks to be going. So life is generally good on that front.

On the way home, I stopped by borders and picked up the Watchmen novel, as well as Neuromancer, and a couple of WotC's "Dungeon Tile" products. Arcane Corridors and Caverns of Carnage, to be sure. Having taken a closer look, they're actually pretty neat. I'll see what kind of usage and utility I actually get from them fairly soon. If they work well, I might buy more.

I started reading Watchmen tonight, as well. I've honestly never read it before, I figured I should before seeing the movie. Well, I figured I should, in general.

I finished watching Voyager sunday night. The final episode was surprisingly not terrible. I have some more thoughts on the series, but I think I'll put those in another post. Probably along with my thoughts on the BSG finale. The short version, sans spoilers: I thought the finale was good, a solid way to bring the series to a close. It answered some of the questions, leaving a few somewhat nebulous. I enjoyed it. I think I might start watching DS9.

Supposedly, my mother is coming to visit this weekend. I should call her, or something. Probably also clean.

The Long Dark

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 05:41:52 GMT

So, a proper update.

I got a job. I'm doing contract web development work for a small startup. And by small, I mean I can count all the employees on one hand. It's also a slight drop in pay from my last job. But that's all okay. So far, I like everyone I'm working with, I like the work I'm doing. And I have a fair bit of freedom. I'm working from home, and am pretty much the sole developer on the project I'm working on (although I do get some input from others, which is cool).

Because I'm actually employed as a contract employee, I had to get a business license, and do all that paperwork. So, technically I'm now the sole proprietor of my own business, licensed to operate in Seattle, WA. Woo! I'm now a small business owner! It was actually surprisingly easy, and cheap. Something like $120 all told, and I think $90 of that is a yearly fee, and I could do all of it online.

The real nice part is that I don't have to actually -tell- my mom that I was unemployed for 5 months. I can.. abbreviate.. that period, and pass it off as nothing major as I shifted jobs. ;)

Speaking of my mother, she's coming to visit the end of this month. I'm not really looking forward to it, but I'm looking forward even less to actually talking to her before then. Which I really ought to do, but I've kind of ignored her entirely for the last couple months. Oh well.

Working from home, and specifically off my home computer, as a contracted hourly employee is an interesting experience. Keeping track of hours worked is.. different. There's a couple time tracking/invoicing OS X apps I'm demoing to see what I like. I think I need to rethink/rework my computer setup. It's not quite ideal. I've thought this for a while, but it's a bit more noticeable now. I also think I need a second monitor for my main computer.

A laptop would be nice as well, but one thing at a time I guess. ;)

quickie

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:49:13 GMT

Quick update. I have a job, yay! Started last friday. So far, so good.

I downloaded all of Star Trek: Voyager, and have been watching that. It gives an interesting perspective on star trek, and sci fi series' in general.

I'll try and make a more meaningful update tonight or something.

Cabin Fever

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:20:05 GMT

For anyone actually reading this:

How much interest is there in some kind of forum-based rpg gaming? Not sure what system I'd want to use, and it'd possibly be something slow-ish moving, and light on hack & slash. (or, at least sporting some house rules to move briskly through it)

I'm feeling a bit creative, and would like something else to occupy my time.

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 22:08:02 GMT

I wish I could just stop feeling anything. At least then I'd stop getting hurt.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 05:07:24 GMT

What is this here for?

Projections

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 00:05:51 GMT

Today I went to Bellevue to meet with a recruiter. ~1 hour bus trip each way. The meeting itself took about 10 minutes, maybe less. Somehow that doesn't feel worth the bus fare. Sigh.

They submited my resume to Microsoft for a position with MSGS. I had do a couple not terribly difficult C++ questions. I haven't really done C++ in a while, but I think I did okay.

I think I'm going to identify a few projects I want to complete, and then make sure I spend a minimum amount of time working on each one every week. I think one of those may be preparatory work for a D&D campaign to start up this spring.

My mom decided to purchase plane tickets out here, without asking me first. I get an email saying "I hope you don't mind, but I bought tickets for the 26th-30th of march. I hope it's not a problem!"

Yeah, thanks for asking me first. *sigh* I need to have a job before then, so I don't actually have to tell my mom I've been jobless for.. 4 months now.

Uncle Cthulhu wants YOU!

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 07:04:54 GMT

http://www.majorspoilers.com/archives/3107.htm/

I am amused.

The slow descent into apathetic surrender of life

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:27:01 GMT

Job search is not going well. At all. I would even go so far as to say it's going quite terrible.

I'm starting to get depressed and very scared about the future. I look at job listings, but gloss over so many thinking that I'm not qualified. Because I'm not. Every single one is really the same:

3-5+ Years experience with [Skill I've never used professionally]

The only logical conclusion is that I am a Failure™. I, apparently, have few — if any — marketable skills. And apparently I've already exhausted the list of companies who actually want the few skills I do have.

It's very frustrating going through job listings and eliminating a third of them because you've already applied there.

It's harder and harder to have the energy and motivation to DO anything anymore. Read? Why bother. Work on various projects? Meh, too tired. Sleep? Too Anxious/Scared to actually GET to sleep. And then when I do, in the morning I don't have the energy or willpower to drag myself out of bed.

I'm probably one or two more rejections away from just curling up in my closet and letting myself just wither away to nothing. Which isn't actually all that far away, because I'm barely eating as-is.

One can only blame the economy, or the end of the year, or whatever so much. At some point I just have to face the fact that I am a complete failure. I just suck at this whole "life" thing, and really don't deserve to have it anymore.

Why do you want to work for us?

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 02:39:37 GMT

Why do I want to work for you? What kind of a dumb-fuck question is that? The answer, in case you can't do the damn math, is this: Because you may be willing to pay me.

In almost every case, that's it. Every fucking company thinks they're something special. A unique and beautiful snowflake. News flash: You're not google. You're not Apple. You're not one of -maybe- 10 companies that are worth having an orgasm over working for.

And if you're not them, you're only one thing to every single current and prospective employee: a paycheck.

Furthermore, how about YOU do a little research, hmm? How about figuring out that I was called -yesterday- by your recruiter who found my resume on dice? I've never heard of your company before then, and to be honest, after a somewhat vague and broken-up cell phone conversation, I'm not going to devote myself to becoming an expert on your company. Hell, she didn't even give a web address or confirmation email. I didn't even know -what- the interview would entail, aside from it being a "technical interview".

Forgotten

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:49:59 GMT

A President Forgotten but Not Gone - A nice Op-Ed article in the NYTimes about the failure of the Bush Administration.

Worth a read.

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:08:02 GMT

I'm back, alive, in seattle.

More later.

More random gaming thoughts.

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:11:40 GMT

The idea of an "Ascension of Men" campaign has been floating around my mind. The idea being man* is still a 'young' race and the world is an uncivilized and hostile place.

Of course, I run into a few issues, like how do you get the characters out beyond the 'known' world. How do you supply them with the upgraded (read: magic) items they're expected to have. Depending on this system, this may or may not be an issue.

*Note: By 'man' I don't necessarily or strictly mean "human", although the implication of certain race-limitations is interesting on its own.

That Big Update I Promised

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:55:11 GMT

I suppose now is as good a time as any.

I was supposed to fly to my mom's, in new york, this morning. Unfortunately, the flight has been cancelled. Lovely. The best the airline can do is get me on a flight on the 26th. I have mixed feelings about this.

I was not exactly looking forward to seeing family (I like them, don't get me wrong, I just don't care to spend much time with them). But I will miss a few extra days of not having to worry about feeding myself.

Anyway. Still lacking a job. Sent tons of resumes and emails. Talked to many recruiters. Had interviews, phone screens, etc. I don't know what else I can do at this point, but nothing is turning up. I'm honestly starting to get very frustrated, a bit scared, and slightly depressed. I can probably survive until sometime in spring. If i don't have a job by then, I may just give up and spiral into a fit of binge drinking and depression. Or not, we'll see. I've still yet to tell my mom.

WoW has taken up a fair bit of my time, with little better to do really.

I've downloaded and have been watching the old Get Smart series. I forgot how awesome it was, and also how inane and kind of superficial. It's amusing, at least.

"You need someone to tell you the truth."

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:58:43 GMT

The Atlantic has an excellent article: Be Nice to the Countries That Lend You Money, it's a look at the current financial crisis, and the state of the American economy from the perspective of a Chinese banker.

It's an excellent article. I could quote passage after passage, but really you should just read it.

This generation of Americans is so used to your supremacy. Your being treated nicely by everyone. It hurts to think, Okay, now we have to be on equal footing to other people. “On equal footing” would necessarily mean that sometimes you have to stoop to appear to be humble to other people.

Wherin whiny med school grads bitch because they're only making six figures.

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:56:40 GMT

From an arcticle on Daily Kos about the health care system:

At the University of Washington medical school, which has a special program to take in some Idaho students, 87 percent of graduates are in debt. The median debt was $105,202 in 2006, according to a study published by the university.

Being a specialist helps pay off that debt the fastest. A new primary care doctor initially earns about $130,000 to $150,000 a year, compared with $250,000 to $500,000 a year for newly minted specialists, Patmas said.

I'm sorry, what?

$140k/yr is not fast enough? You feel the need to be a specialist and rip people off for 2-3 times as much? Fuck you. Seriously. Teachers make $30-50k/yr and have to pay off debt too. If you spent your first year making the "bottom end" of $130k/yr, and lived as if you made $30k/yr, you could pay off almost all your debt in that first year. Being a bit more reasonable you could have it all paid off in a few years.

That's what's wrong with health care (and many other industries), we let these jackasses rip us off and make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.

I've been really tired lately.

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 07:32:13 GMT

- do want: http://www.montecook.com/cgi-bin/page.cgi?mpress_BOXMC_PR
- happy birthday.
- Bigger post coming soon. I promise. The lich king has eaten my soul.

Charts and Graphs or "Trending, 2"

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:01:22 GMT

Popular vote by party, from 1980 to 2008.

2008 Electoral Map & Cartograph

The latter is certainly not proof of anything, just a nice map. :) But I think the combination of the two certainly lend credence to the idea that America, as a nation, is inevitably trending liberal.

[edit] Note, as well, that that electoral map assigns Missouri's EVs and ALL of Nebraska's EVs to McCain, when they results from there aren't official yet.

Also, this is an interesting chart/map:

How much is your vote worth - via NYTimes. This should not be news to anyone, but it's nice to see the math done. This, folks, is one of the huge reasons why the electoral system is fundamentally flawed. A voter in Wyoming has roughly 3 times the influence of a voter in NY, CA, or WA. What. The. Fuck?

Potpourri

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:07:36 GMT

I'm feeling far less uncertain, depressed, and emo now than I was previously. Good Things™

I'm slowly beginning to entertain the possibility of lines of work outside software development. It's not that I don't like software development anymore, but variety can be good. The trick, of course, is breaking into any other industry.

I've been watching Battlestar Galactica lately. I'm up to Season 3. I should have watched this long ago.

Still no job. But I've been getting more calls from recruiters. So hopefully that'll turn up something.

Colorless

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:26:07 GMT

It's occurred to me recently, the fact that Obama will likely become our first black president seems to be so minor relative to the [relatively] radical world view he seems to have brought to the election.

That, I think, is arguably the most interesting thing about him as a candidate. I approve.

Reality is frequently painful.

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 03:32:23 GMT

The worst part about this is that I'm so much of an idiot to keep coming back for more. To keep reading too much into every softly spoken word and kindness. To somehow fool myself over and over.

And it only hurts more when I periodically get slapped in the face by reality.
I'm not even sure how to change.